You Might Have a Coffee Addiction if…
1. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You grind your coffee beans between your teeth.
2. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You haven’t blinked your eyes since the last lunar eclipse.
3. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You have to watch all of your videos in fast-forward.
4. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You channel surf faster without your TV remote.
5. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. People get dizzy just watching you.
6. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You have worn out your third pair of shoes this week.
7. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. The only time you’re standing still is during an earthquake.
8. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You chew on other people’s fingernails for them.
9. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. The nurse at the hospital needs a scientific calculator to take your pulse.
10. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You’re so jittery that people use your hands to blend their margaritas for them.
11. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You help your dog chase its tail.
12. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You can jump-start your car without cables using just nipple clamps.
13. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You don’t sweat, you percolate.
14. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You short out motion detectors.
15. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. Your first-aid kit contains an I.V bag full of coffee with an I.V. hookup.
16. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You’ve built a miniature city out of used coffee cups little plastic stirrers.
17. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You can take a picture of yourself from across the room without using the timer.
18. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You answer the door before people knock.
19. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. Your eyes stay open while you sneeze.
20. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You have a picture of your coffee mug on your coffee mug.
21. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You can outlast the Energizer bunny.
22. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. Stale Coffee has become acceptable.
23. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You don’t even wait for the water to boil anymore.
24. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. Your nervous twitch registers on the Richter scale at the local university.
25. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You can type sixty words per minute with your feet.
26. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You soak your dentures in coffee overnight.
27. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You re-use your used coffee grounds for topping your oatmeal.
28. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You ski uphill, because the lift is to slow.
29. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You get a speeding ticket even when you’re parked.
30. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. Instant coffee takes too long.
31. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You sleep with your eyes open.
32. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You have problems with bolts rattling loose when you ride your bike.
33. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You have to mount your couch on vibration isolation pads to keep from annoying the neighbors in your apartment building.
34. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You have a constant problem with sodas exploding when you open them.
35. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You have incorporated coffee beans into your favorite recipes.
36. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You sometimes have a hard time accurately clicking on small objects with your mouse.
37. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You moved up to filter less coffee.
38. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You have a coffee dealer.
39. You Might have a coffee addiction if…. You have secretly started growing your own coffee.
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